News.

Pangkor was awesome. The beach was cleaner than Penang, the water was clearer, I swallowed some sea water (yes, it really is salty), accidentally stabbed my foot with some broken shells in the sea and almost drowned myself. Yup. I still can't float and can't really swim. So, instead of learning how to swim of practising, I just hugged the volleyball and kick around the water with my feet. Smart? No. I almost let go of the ball, that's why I almost drowned myself. Stupid.

Anyway, I've got some news. Shocking news. And, no, it has nothing to do with the New Moon movie or any of the stars in it or whatever celebrity gossips. Well, okay, it might not be big news to you guys, it might not be shocking at all. But how often do you see me eating something I fear? Not often? Wait, never, right? Guess what?


















































































I



















































































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PRAWNS!!





1 slightly larger-than-normal-sized prawn, 1 mantis prawn or whatever it is, and 1 gigantic, freakishly, huge and disgusting prawn. Everyone at the table were going on and on about how nice it was, how delicious it tasted. I just stared at them like they were some aliens. By the way, I did not willingly eat those prawns. Mum made me eat them. Wait, she FORCED me to eat them, cause we were in Pangkor and the food there were mainly seafood. So, I HAD to eat them. To be exact, I swallowed it. I didn't really chew my food. Just peeled the shells off, throw it in my mouth, dug my teeth into it once and throw it to the back of my mouth where it goes down my throat and into my sick stomach. Ugh.

Anyway, I'm gonna start hiding myself in the house or wear something longer til my skin goes back to it's normal colour. Mum says it's possible if I do that. I have like, 3 or 4 different colours on my back. Argh. Oh yea, I saw a monkey peeing. o.o Not that I'm a perv or what, it was like, right above my head in the trees, and thank goodness I did not continue walking or I would've been pee-ed on. Disgusting.

I wanna watch New Moon! It's like, everyone I know already watched it besides me. Who am I gonna watch it with then? Sobs. Gtg now, cousin wants her laptop back. Bye!

-Nic-

Hols

Blogging from my cousins' house now. The beach was awesome. It's not as clean as it used to be, but, yeah. Better than nothing, right? Spent 2 days under the sun (and rain). Mum taught me how to search for 'lumek', it's a hokkien word. It looks something like the lala we always eat, but the shell is thicker and harder. Oh, did I mention that I actually went into the sea? Went in as in walked into the water til it's shoulder level. YES. I WENT THAT DEEP!!! Heh. I've never went in that deep before because I've stupid phobias. At least think I do. When I climbed up the rocks to snap some pictures, I always had this feeling of falling off the rocks into the sea and crushing / drowing myself. Really. It's like my whole heart was gonna jump out of my chest. Or when I stood on the balcony, I felt like I was falling off. Damn scary. The same thing happens when I'm in the water. Ugh.

2 days under the sun. I'm at least one tone darker now. Seriously. All those sun and swimming gave me a half-dark-half-fair back. I look hideous. And oh, I just realised that I do not get dark immediately. I turn red first, then dark. Sighs. Won't be attending the choir lunch tomorrow. Sobs. Wished I could, but I just can't make it back in time. Argh.

Going to Pangkor this thursday. Haha. After all these years of staying away from the beach, ah. I'll be so much more darker after the hols. Good thing or bad? I don't know. Off to sleep now. I'm exhausted.

-Nic-

Beach

The last time I went to a beach was with the choir peeps at Pahang. Sighs. And the last time before that? I don't even remember. A few years ago I guess. Anyway, mum said we might be going to the beach this weekend after the wedding. Can't wait! I just love the beach.

Really lazy to blog these few days. All I do the whole day is eat, sleep, piano, guitar, tv, online, ballet, theory. Something like that. Sighs. Lifeless. My plan to find a part-time job failed, cause mum wouldn't let me get one. Ish. So, I'll just waste my lifeless life doing the same things again and again and again at home. Such a boring person, ain't I? Can't wait to go out with friends again. Miss them so much. =)

Oh yea, to all those taking their exams out there, good luck! I shall stop crapping here. Til then, bye!

Such a beautiful sunset. It's been a long time since I last saw one like this.

-Nic-

Craps

Tomorrow's the last day of school. Somewhere deep down, inside of me, there's a voice telling me to go. But, as usual, the devil always wins. I'll be skipping school tomorrow, just as I did today. I don't see the point in going to school if we're not gonna do anything there. I mean, Talentime just finished on Wednesday. That activity is like, the highlight of the year, the one that marks the end of school for us. Since it's over already, what more is there for us to do in school besides sit and rot for 6 freaking hours? Sure, it won't be so bad if you have friends there to talk to. But, most of mine already self declared their holidays a long time ago. There's still a few more who still attend school regularly (in which I really admire their school spirit), but, hey, I'd rather sleep at home for a few more hours. Besides, I really need those sleep. I still feel lifeless after so many days.

Anyway, everyone's talking bout themselves now that the school days are comiong to an end for 2009. So, I shall talk bout mine too. Heh.

Wait, I just remembered something. I don't really have anything to talk about. Seriously. See how lifeless I am? Okay, if I make an effort and search my brain, maybe I'll come up with something.






































Searching..







































Searching..


















































Still searching..


















































You know, if you're bored..


































You should probably leave now..






































'Cause I'm a really really boring person..










































And whatever crap you're about to read later would just be boring anyway..













































Seriously.







































Okay, I'll just talk about what I think about myself then, since I have nothing to talk about but still want to crap about something. Get what I mean? I think you do. If you don't, nevermind then. I'm just crapping anyway.

So, spent some time thinking bout my past these few days. (Yes, these few days, cause I was freaking bored) And, I realised, that all these while, when I actually complained and criticized others, I'm actually talking about myself. Well, I didn't realise that when I was doing it, but I do now, when I think about it. I've always thought that I was the independent and mature one. But, the truth is, I'm not. There was so many times when I had to depend on others more than I should. There were so many times when I wanted to do things on my own but ended up asking others to do it for me. When I see others acting childishly, I'll hate it. Don't get me wrong here, I don't really hate people. I just, dislike, their attitude. I don't like it when people tend to act or think as if they're still in kindy or primary. But then, thinking of some things that I did, I was the one who acted childishly. I was one of those people whose attitudes I hated (dislike). I was the childish one. There were also times when I laughed at others who acted stupidly in certain situations. Yes, I laughed. Maybe not on the outside, but on the inside, I was rolling on the floor and laughing so hard that tears came out of my eyes. Get what I mean? I'm not such a nice person after all, am I? I'm not the person that everyone thinks I am. Like I've mentioned probably a hundred times before, I'm unpredictable. And I wear a mask, probably for everyday of my life. Though I sometimes take it off and be the real me, most of the time it's on my face, there, faking everything. Not that I want to be a faker. I really do want to be myself. In fact, I enjoy being myself. Unfortunately, those moments are realy short. And I can only enjoy it sometimes when I'm with the right people. Feel like I'm a stranger now? You probably would. I admit that I do hate people who are rude and bitchy. But, fact is, I actually hate them because I hate the devil in me. I hate the bitch in me that sometimes takes over and control my mind. Remember those times when I'm sarcastic or mean and say hurtful things? Yeah. Those are the times when the devil/bitch is out. I try real hard to control myself, but sometimes I just slip. Pfft. I don't even know what am I crapping about. Anyway, long story short, I'm not exactly the angelic sweetheart you think I am. I'm actually the bitch that everyone hates. It's just that I do a good job at hiding and controlling myself. If I didn't, I'd probably be on everyone's Hate List by now. Yes. I'm actually that bad. Hard to believe? Maybe. Anyway, I sometimes feel like I'm just like those loner you see in movies. The one who doesn't seem to fit in anywhere no matter how hard she tries. It's kinda scary sometimes, cause you don't know who to turn to when you need a person to talk to. So, my sometimes loner attitude has resulted in me writing songs and picking up old Harper who I've abandoned for such a long time. Surprisingly, it helps. Writing what I feel and what I think into songs and singing them, makes me feel much better. =)

Crap. Wasn't I supposed to talk about my school life? Okay. School. Besides the fact that the school rules and some of the teachers really get on my nerves sometimes, everything is just awesome. Especially the friends. They really make me happy. Without them, I'll probably drop to my knees and beg my mum to let me be home schooled. See how lonely I am? Or, how BORING I am? Hah. Okay. School. I got a 'C' for st john this year cause I wasn't really active in it. Skipped duties and stuff. So, yeah. I kinda deserved that 'C'. Got a 'B' for rumah hijau. Not bad. I got a 'C' last year. Heh. And, best of all, 'A' for choir. Really happy with that. I mean, this whole year, it has always been choir, choir, choir and CHOIR. Though I sometimes wish that I could quit, I still love it. Not just the trainings, but also the leaders, the coaches, the FAMILY.

Ah, cut the crap. Mum's screaming at me to go to sleep. It's already 1.04am. Bye people.

-Nic-

I Miss Pahang.!

Finally in the mood to blog. Heh. So, came back from Pahang on Sunday. The experience we had there? Priceless. Irreplaceble. Nothing could compare to that. It's not just about competing with other teams there, it's about what we actually gained throughout the whole experience. And, how our bond strengthened in the process. Really miss Pahang now. Everything there was just so, so, so amazing.! I WANNA GO BACK. Seriously. You know what? We should organize a trip to somewhere on our own one day. That'll be awesome. I miss Pahang. I know I've already mentioned that for goodness-knows-how-many-times but still, I miss it. Pictures. Some are in my phone. Mostly in other people's cameras. And, I'm really lazy to upload it here. If you guys wanna see the pictures, just go to those choir members fb to view it. =)

Been wearing slippers to school since Monday. Clumsy here scraped her leg on the rock while on the beach on Sunday. Yeah. On our way home from Pahang, we actually stopped by the beach. It was wonderful. I haven't been to the beach in like, 3 years? Or was it 4? I don't remember. That just shows how long I've been away from the beach, doesn't it? Anyway, after I scraped my leg, tiny toe on my left foot, to be exact, I just went on and joined the others. Thank goodness Mabel told me to use a plaster to cover my wound. What the hell was I thinking?! Going to the sea with my wound opened. (Fyi, tiny bits of flesh were sticking out. Imagine that.) *smacks head* I must have been crazy. Anyway, had ice cream from McD. Uncle Tan belanja-ed us KFC. Took pictures. Went on the bus and continued our journey. Oh, Aunty Yvonne let us watch Tsunami on the bus before we went to the beach. So, I told myself, if there's an earthquake, hide under a mattress; if there tsunami, hold on to a mattress and don't let go. Why? Figure it out. Or you can ask me in school. Heh. Anyway, my toe still hurts. People actually STEPPED on it in school. Freaking pain. And, I still went for ballet just now, so, yeah. It's getting worse.

And, I haven't practised my piano for a week. Teacher's so gonna kill me when I start my lessons again. Sighs. I miss Hannah! Hah. My fingers are like, so stiff. Suddenly feel like stopping my piano instead of continuing my diploma. Literally slapped myself just now when I thought of that. I've came this far and I've definitely worked too hard to let it go now. No way am I stopping. Stupid laziness. Gah. Oh, I've also started practising my guitar after stopping for so many days. Now there's blisters on my left fingers again. Just great. =.=

Seafield Talentime today. Participated in the solo and duet category. Well, the duet was kinda a last minute decision. My partner? Chang Yi Shuen. It was okay I guess. Besides the fact that my voice was shaking throughout the whole performance cause I was literally shivering on the stage due to nervousness. We got the third place. Kinda happy. I mean, I didn't expect to win anything, but, yeah. Anyway, congrats to the other winners.! You guys were awesome. =)

Oh, and I was playing around with some words yesterday before going to sleep and I came up with a short chorus. Wee~~ And, I still look like a zombie cause I slept for a total of less than 9 hours from Friday til Monday. 3 nights of sleep, less than 9 hours. We're supposed to sleep for 6 to 8 hours each day. So, yeah, I'm really tired. I now fall alseep whenever I clos my eyes, which is not a good thing. I could've fallen asleep in school and maybe did some stupid stuff without knowing it. Maybe I'll end up sleep walking to the priciple's offince. That would be interesting. I think I'm gonna sleep now. Not that I want to, but the feeling's there. I'll probably zonk out infront of the computer. Sighs. Nites people.

-Nic-