Piece of Cake?

I survived the first week of school. And so the routine goes on again.



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27th January 2011




The day I dread. The day that I wish will never arrive. So I've decided. Hopefully, a decision that I will never regret. Due to the increasing amount of my tuition classes, and the few important examinations I have to take this year (ATCL, theory grade 8 AND the most important one, SPM), I have decided to stop ballet. And this time, for real. No more "aiya, I think I don't want to stop already la. I can't let go. So, haha. I'm continuing my ballet lessons!" No. Yes, I can't let go. That much is true. But I have to, or else I might fail my papers. It's been like, what? About 14 years? Yeah. I started dancing since I was about 3. So, 2010 was my last concert. My last chance dancing infront of a crowd of people that I don't even know. Audience. I know I've always said that I wanted to quit, but I continued cause it was always "oh, just one more grade, then I'll quit for good". Not anymore. I'm going to miss all of this. I'm going to miss dancing with the people who's seen me make a fool out of myself, who's watched me grow up like family, who's been there with me through thick and thin, learning all those steps in foreign terms, the people who's seen me dancing so clumsily like a hippo but never made fun of me. I'm going to miss my second family.

I wouldn't call myself a ballerina, cause I don't think I've reached that standard. I've never even performed onstage in my pointe shoes, a dream I've always dreamed, and will continue to dream. So, as a ballet dancer, I've certainly learnt alot. In my many years of learning ballet, I've become a stronger person, and more disciplined. When I'm onstage, I'll always look confident although there's really a hurricane and a tornadoe inside of me, killing all the butterflies in my stomach thus making me more nervous than nervous. But, that's on the inside. I'm always happy to perform. Ballet made me love the stage. I still remember how teacher would find ways to make us understand what we're supposed to do and not do eg. poisonous skirts so that we have a nice brabarre. The teachers, I'll definitely miss them.

They say ballet is for the weaklings, it's not a sport. Football's a sport. Well, I'd say if you can't survive in ballet, you can't survive in football. But if you survive in ballet, football's just a piece of cake. Get what I mean? No? Try ballet then, you'll see.

27th January 2011, my last day as a ballet dancer. I'll certainly miss all of it. I don't want to regret.

-Nic-