=D

I think the stye's gone. Thank goodness. One less thing to suffer during CNY. School's still on tomorrow. Sighs. I was really really really hoping that they would give us an extra holiday to cut down the traffic, but, oh well. Anyway, today's probably the day I laughed most since I came to form 4. Seriously. I laughed so hard that I had stomach cramps. But it was fun.

Ah, school tomorrow. I haven't ironed my uniform yet. Crap.

-Nic-

Stye.

Of all the time, why must the stupid infection be now?? WHY?! Stupid stye. Checked the internet to get the full meaning of 'stye' since I had no idea what it was. All I know is that there's a pimple growing on/under my eyelid. And people say that using a rice that hasn't been cooked to poke the affected area will help to reduce/cure the infection. I wasn't gonna do that cause I do not want to risk poking myself right in the eyeball. I've done that and saw the silver glitters around me for so many times already. I do not want it to happen again, especially not with a freakishly sharp, uncooked rice. Anyway, wikipedia says that a stye is:


An external stye (pronounced /ˈstaɪ/) or hordeolum (/hɔrˈdiːələm/) is an infection of the sebaceous glands of Zeis at the base of the eyelashes, or an infection of the apocrine sweat glands of Moll. External styes form on the outside of the lids and can be seen as small red bumps. Internal styes are infections of the meibomian sebaceous glands lining the inside of the eyelids. They also cause a red bump underneath the lid with only generalized redness and swelling visible on the outside. Styes are similar to chalazia, but tend to be of smaller size and are more painful (more painful? wth..) and usually produce no lasting damage. Styes are characterized by an acute onset and usually short in duration (7-10 days without treatment) compared to chalazia that are chronic and usually do not resolve without intervention.

Styes are commonly caused by a Staphylococcus aureus bacterial infection, or by the blocking of an oil gland at the base of the eyelash.

Although they are particularly common in infants, styes are experienced by people of all ages. (hell yeah..==) Styes can be triggered by stress, poor nutrition, sleep deprivation, or rubbing of the eyes. (okay, maybe I should have slept earlier and rubbed my eyes less. Sobs.) Using the same razor to shave hair near both the eyes and a mustache (i do not have a moustache and i do not shave any hair near my eyes cause i'll probably end up shaving my eyes out.) can also spread staphylococcus bacteria, potentially leading to styes or other eye infections. Sharing of washcloths or face towels should be curtailed to avoid spreading the infection between individuals. (ugh, NADINE! STOP USING MY TOWEL!) Styes will last from up to 4 days to 2 weeks (2 weeks??!!) without treatment, and only up to 1 week (please let it be less than that, i dont wanna suffer during CNY. sobs.) if treated properly. Medical professionals will sometimes lance a particularly persistent or irritating stye with a needle in order to accelerate its draining. (I always poke my eyes, but maybe, mum won't..) A stye's expansion can also be fought with erythromycin ophthalmic ointment. Medical professionals may also treat stye with other antibiotics such as chloramphenicol or Amoxicillin. Chloramphenicol is used successfully in many parts of the world but contains a box warning in the United States due to concerns about aplastic anemia, which on rare occasions can be fatal. Erythromycin ointment enjoys widespread usage and may add to comfort and aid in preventing secondary infections. However, it is poorly absorbed when used topically and usually requires oral dosing to reach the infection with therapeutic levels onside of a stye. Azasite, a topical eye drop form of Azithromycin, does appear to penetrate eyelid tissues fairly well and may be a topical treatment for styes used in the future.

If a stye bursts, care must be taken to cleanse the wound to prevent reinfection. (there'll be a reinfection? wth..)


So, I have to suffer not only a sore throat, flu, horrible ezcema and probably my period (it's a week late fyi) but also this stupid stye during CNY. What a way to celebrate. Ugh.

Skipped school today cause I my left eye wouldn't open NO THANKS to the stupid stye. Gah. And I thought that I could have full attendance this year, cause I ponteng-ed ALOT during form 3. People want to be a good student and attend school everyday, but ended up like this. Hmph. Oh yea, btw, I actually went to school for 7 days in a row last week. Monday to Friday, school. Saturday, school replacement class. Sunday, PIBG performance. Heh. I guess today'll just have to be my Saturday/Sunday/Monday rest day.

Tons of homework to do. School and tuition. UGH. Curse the person who invented homeworks. I hate you. ==

-Nic-

Elfluented.

Word of the day: ELFLUENTED
Meaning: To affect. Refer to Influenced.

Yeah. Another new word. I sure learn lots of crap from my Physics teacher. SHE DOESN'T EVEN KNOW HOW TO SPELL 'INFLUENCED' FOR GOODNESS SAKE!! *slaps head* Seriously. I really felt like laughing out really loud, especially when Mabel went out to correct her, and she asked Mabel HOW to spell it instead. I know, I sound mean, laughing at others mistake. But she was a freaking major in Physics! And, what year is it now? How can she NOT know how to spell something as easy as that? Why do I hate Physics? Partly because of her, and, I hate calculations. Seriously. I'd rather burn my brains out memorizing all those Biology crap than to do Physics for the rest of my life. I know I sound a lil unreasonable. Sure, we use physics almost everyday in our lives. Without physics or maths or all those calculation craps, we wouldn't have what we're having today. Still, I HATE CALCULATIONS.

Anyway, Najib and his 1Malaysia concept. What do I think bout it? I think it's crap. Want to know why? Cause there's like, racial problems everyday happening everywhere. Just today, during add maths,

"Why are you sitting with him? Change place! All Indians sitting together always talk alot!"

WTF. I know it's not really my buisness. I'm not one of those people he was scolding. But still, did you really had to mention Indians? Helloo?? Indians are not the only ones with mouths la kay? FYI, I was talking too. In fact, I ALWAYS talk during your class. Why didn't you say 'Chinese sitting together always talk alot'? Does changing places to sit with a different kind of race really help? How would it help? Different races don't talk to each other, that's why there won't be any noises? What kind of rubbish is that? How could you say that to the class? You're a TEACHER. Damn racist la you. I know, many people are racist. Still. You shouldn't have said that. Better change your bad attitude mister, before you get into huge trouble.

Anyhoo, I finally flipped open my chinese dictionary that I've owned since std 3. Yeah, last time I used it was in std 6. Never touched it since then. But, since I had to find out about so many words, yeah. Finally. My chinese is getting worse and worse. There's like, 2 out of 10 words that I can understand, while the rest are just, words. I have at least 70% of chinese homework left to do, which I won't. I'll just copy from my friends. Heh. I TRIED to do la kay. Spent the past one hour squinting at tiny words in the dictionary. Seriously. I did make an effort to finish it, but I just don't know how to do it. Not my fault. Oh, I finally got my moral homework burden off my back. Yay.! 4 essays full of craps. Hope teacher won't scold me tomorrow during class. I spent the whole afternoon and night just to finish those essays kay. Okay, I know. I wouldn't had to rush like a mad woman if I'd finished it the moment teacher gave us the assignments. But then, I really had no idea on what to write. So, I guess I'm the last-minute-only-got-idea kind of person. Too bad. Sighs.

CNY is less than 2 weeks away. Wee~! I can't wait. =)

I haven't finished my add maths tuition homework yet. Crap.

-Nic-

.

I'm really starting to have second thoughts in probably every single decision I've made now. Like, seriously. What in the world was I thinking when I picked up the pen and wrote on that paper and signed my name and handed it in? WHAT WAS I THINKING?! I don't have any of those qualities in me. Why did I do it? Thinking now, did I make the right decision? Looking at them, I feel so useless. Why can't I be more like them? I can talk and communicate with my friends, but why is it so hard for me to talk to others? They ARE my friends too, but, there's just that feeling in me that makes me feel so nervous and shaky. I thought that I could do it. I really thought that I could. I mean, I've tried it before. Those little kids were so easy and I had no stress at all with them though they sometimes don't understand what I say. But, they're just kids. It's okay if they don't understand. Piano is harder, right? There's the fingerings and all to learn. Then why do I have little problem with them but such a huge problem with what I'm supposed to do now? I'm not really doing anything and I feel stressed. Yes. STRESSED. Why? I don't know. I'm not doing anything. I'm just the stupid one who can't seem to do anything right. Then WHY AM I STRESSING OUT??? I have no freaking reasons to feel stressed. Each time I'm told to do something, I'll end up not doing it because they are so much more better at it that I am. Really. I look up to them alot. I really admire their courage and all. Ever since form 1, they've been like role models to me. It's like they've been born to do all those stuff. They've accomplished so many things. I'm already form 4, and what have I accomplished through these years? Nothing. Nothing at all. I feel so useless. Really. If I can't even trust myself, how can I expect others to trust me? Where the hell did all my confidence go? I seriously don't feel confident at all talking to everyone. It's like, ugh. I've never been so insecure and worried about my words after such a long time. Why must it happen now? Of all the time to lose my confidence and boldness, WHY NOW? Now, when I need it the most? I've already tried my best to forget about what happened in the past, and I did it. I made it. But, ever since then, I've been really careful with almost every single word that comes out of my mouth, because I don't want history to repeat again. I've already hurt one person so deeply because of my big mouth, and I don't want to do it again. I've been really careful. But, being careful doesn't mean I can't be the old happy me. Doesn't mean I can't be talkative and crazy and fun. I used to be, and I still am. But, why do I feel like it's slowly sinking away? I keep remembering the same stupid incident. UGH.

It's like I'm starting to isolate myself again. WHY? Where the hell did the person in me go? God. Where are those stars when I need them?

-Nic-

Weirdo

I seriously wouldn't mind staying back for chinese lessons if we're gonna study in the MPB everytime. Heh. But then, there's always the good and bad side. Good thing is, the room is much more comfortable than our usual stuffy classrooms. And, there're air-cons! =) Bad thing is, I tend to fall asleep easily when I get too comfortable. Sighs.

Anyway, I felt really, really restless today. I have no idea why. Was jumping and skipping around. Yeah, weirdo, yes. I tend to get all hyped up out of the blue and start jumping like some maniac for no reason. So, don't mind me when I do that infront of you. You all should be used to it by now, right?

Anyhoo..MABELLLL! I wanna meet them tooooooooooo!!!!! =(

-Nic-

Sick.

My sore-throat is getting worse. Argh. CNY is like, in about 2 weeks? Sobs. I don't want to be sick during CNY. Anyway, thanks again everyone for everything. You all really make me feel appreciated. And, in a way, you let me know that there are people out there who are concious about my existence in this world. I'm not completely invisible. Thank you. =)

Just came back from add maths tuition, and I had no idea what did I do there. Couldn't really concentrate, with the headache and all. Sighs. I'm gonna fail my exams.

Anyway, these guys are really amazing la.



Note: the guys in the video are the same person. Amzing right? Sam's voice is like, WOW. And, that Kurt is a genius. Wish I could meet them.



He sings, acts and plays the piano. Not to mention cute.! *melts*

-Nic-

Awesome.

I really hope that my wish comes true

Had an early celebration with the people I love yesterday. It's really great seeing them again after so long. More than a year, I think. Thank you, for giving me another memorable night to keep forever. You guys are awesome. One day, I shall find some pictures of us when we were small, and compare to our pictures now. It'll be a great laugh.

Anyway, had dinner at Pizza Hut. We had the whole upstairs to ourselves. Heh. Chatted and ate til it was around 9 something. Sent Yoke Lin home after that, cause she wasn't feeling so well. Hope you're better now. =) Then, went home with Kim and Hel. Kim left around 11. Hel waited til 1 something. And, guess what? Around 12, if I'm not mistaken, I started having a terrible headache. And, I was drop-dead tired cause there was merentas desa that morning. Ugh. I'm such a terrible person. Instead of entertaining Hel, I fell asleep for a few minutes. At least I think I did. I don't remember much, so I must've been sleeping like a pig. Sorry Hel. =(

Then, chatted with mum til 4am. Yeah, 4am. Unbelievable. Mum forgotten the time I guess. When she looked at the clock, she was like 'go sleep now! so late already. sure cannot wake up in the morning.' Hah. It's already morning laa mum.

Nothing much to say. Words can't really describe how I felt that night. So much running through my brains, yet I can't find enough words to type. Still, it was awesome. I'm really really grateful for having such amazing friends. Thanks you all, for everything. Hopefully, 10 years from now, we'll still be the same crazy bunch. I love you. Glo..why you didn't come laa..We seriously missed you so much. =(

Homework's piling up. I haven't finished my theory and school work AND add maths tuition work yet. Gosh.

-Nic-