Breathe.

Okay, my blog's like, totally dead. But I have a really really good reason. I've just been to busy thinking what I'm so busy about that I couldn't find time to blog at all. So, yeah. Anyway, hols are wayyy over. Sorry lah, no time to blog ma. So, what I did during the hols: eat, sleep, study a lil and rot.

School's already started for quite some time, tried catching up with the work I've abandoned for so long. So far, it's working a lil. At least I'm trying to do my bm and I'm doing more add maths now. So, holidays was okay for me I guess. Hectic and tiring, but, yeah. First week was MCE, then trinity exam and back to Juru for Grandma's 49 days thingi. Oh, and we got a distinction for our trinity exam. *smiles* AND, I got my ballet results back too, and am really REALLY happy with it. *double smiles*

Been kinda torn in between recently cause I have like such a huge dilemma. PDA concert, Faust and competition. I can't go for all of them because..

1) I can't split myself into 3 and I don't have a twin/triplets.
2) I just don't have enough time. I'm already dragging my AT exam to next year cause I haven't practiced enough. No way can I score good results if I take it this year. So, one year wasted. Sighs.
3) I'm tired of fighting with my mum over it. I've been fighting since form 1 and I'm sick and tired of it. You have no idea how much it hurts. Besides, mum's getting old. I can't fight with her forever and not think about her health.
4) It's my last performance. My last rehearsal. My last dance.
5) It's probably a once in a lifetime chance and I'm kinda throwing it away. Geez. I feel like I'm throwing a part of my body away and I'm never gonna get it back.

But, I think some of the problems are solved FOR NOW. I don't know what gonna happen in the future. And, they've left us. I'll miss them dearly. Hopefully they'll come back. And, oh, it feels kinda weird when I don't attend practices. I don't know why, but I just feel like something's missing. Hmm. Anyhoo, concert rehearsals are on. Hopefully everything's gonna be okay cause this concert will be a part of me forever. Well, at least that's what people usually say. The last dance is the one that remains forever. I don't know if I'll remember when I grow old and get Alzheimer's Disease cause I'm already so forgetful now although I'm just 16. Sighs.

By the way, I failed my add maths again. AND, physics. Wtf. How am I supposed to take my SPM like that? Die la. My studies really dropped like mad. Ish. Can't even score an 80 for english. I miss primary now. Sobs.

-Nic-