Hell.

"Akan menghadap ke kanan, ke kanan pusing!"

"Akan menghadap ke kiri, ke belakang pusing!"

"Baris! Hentak kaki, hentak!!"

"Do you think your marching was good?! DO YOU THINK YOUR MARCHING WAS GOOD?!"

"Another 40 hentakans!"

"Add another 20 hentakans!"

-im so sick of it now-

And it goes on and on and on. Why did I insist on joining St John back then in form 1? I don't really remember. I remember Meera asking me to join scouts with her, but I insisted on joining St John. In the end she agreed, only to quit a year later. =.= And, so many people quitting. I'm still joining. Why? Cause I feel like it's a waste if I quit now. I've already survived the first 3 years, another 2 years wouldn't hurt, right? But you know what? It does. Physically and mentally. Now I know why my left arm hurts so much, though I don't know why only my left arm hurts and not both arms. Now I know why my feet aches, especially almost every weekend, which totally ruined my mood to shop for hours. Now I know why my hair feels and smells like burnt seaweed. Now I know why I've gotten tanner compared to when I first came to Seafield. Why? The MARCHING. Yes. Stupid marching. If I'm not mistaken, I insisted on joining St John back then cause I was really interested in first aid and crap. I actually thought that St John teaches more instead of marching. I thought that was the scouts. Yeah, maybe that's why I didn't want to join. Now, I feel like a total idiot. Going there every Saturday only to get shouted at. Going there every Saturday only to march like there's no tomorrow. Going there every Saturday for first aid classes (which are like, maybe 1 out of 5 times) when my interest in first aid is no longer there. Why do I still go? Cause I passed 2 freaking first aid exams and I've already bought all the uniform and crap. Also, mum would most probably disagree if I told her I want to join Bomba, cause I've wasted 3 years in St John and if I join Bomba, I'll have to buy all those crap again and waste more time and money. And, most of my friends have already quit a long time ago, not that I have many friends there, but still, ugh. Just 2 more years, and it'll be over. If I'm going to form 6, hell, I'll not join them anymore. And, I'm gonna make sure that Nad makes the right chice next year so that she doesn't have to regret or get stuck in between like how I am now.

After marching for what seemed like eternity, checked the time during one of the water breaks. It was only 8.14am wtf. It wasn't even one hour yet after so long. Ugh. Around 9am we went into one of the class rooms to study our first aid, like FINALLY. Then, before class ended, choir members left the room for, well, choir. *smiles* It's great to see all those juniors who are so full of enthusiasm. Had audition after that. I was in group 9. I was so nervous that I forgotten that I have to look at the coach during the audition. Instead, I was looking at the Vi Jia 90% of the time. The other 10%? 7% looking at Mabel, 3% looking at the coach. That was when I suddenly remembered that I should be singing to them too. Audition finished real soon. Too soon, in fact. Cuase I came out jumping like an idiot. I know, stupid. But I was freaking nervous la kay. Didn't practise for 2 months, and after less than 5 meetings then want to go audition. If I was still in form 1 I probably wouldn't do that, cause I was still kinda cowardly last time. Still, being out of that room away from all the tension just made me feel so happy. Those jumps and short runs were nothing compared to what I would have done if there wasn't so many eyes staring at me like I'm some lunatic who just escaped from Tanjung Rambutan and ran all the way here to Seafield. Came home and jumped and laughed a lil more, cause there won't be any more auditions in a while. I hope. Still, hah.

Oh yea, mum transformed our Christmas tree into a CNY tree. It's beautiful. Why can't I be more artistic like her?? Sighs. Anyway, going to sunway later. It's been a while since I last went there. =)

-Nic-